my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
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