her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
