dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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