Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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