The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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