I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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