what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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