whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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