i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
