all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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