Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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