Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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