So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
