took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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