The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
