I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
