also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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