We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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