Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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