You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
