Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
