so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
