Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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