I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
