Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
