Already got asked if we're dating
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
