Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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