Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
