If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
