fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
