Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
