if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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