the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
