i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
