he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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