So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
