I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
