there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My bed smells like the plague
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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