Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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