i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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