I looked at my own cervix.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
