Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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