Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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