and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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