She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
