what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
