Do you still have your period?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
