I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
