she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
