I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
