I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
