she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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